It was the end of the summer hiking season in the Olympics. The throngs of day hikers had slowed to a trickle as students returned to school and access to the unpaved service road to the trailhead would soon be closing.
I had never been much of a long-distance hiker but had always wanted to attempt a longer hike. Having spent most of my adult life living and working in a crowded industrial city overseas, I craved the wilderness. My mother’s recent death and my own cancer surgery seemed to intensify that desire. The more remote, the better.
Accompanied by my two sons, the route I had chosen would take us twelve miles through rocky paths, forests, meadows, stream crossings, and alpine lakes. I had questions about how much longer I had to live, if I had what it took to complete this hike on my new chemotherapy drug, or whether this might even be my last hike. I had business to discuss with my Creator, and I could think of no better place than the remote beauty of the Pacific Northwest.
I had given the best years of my life to serve God. I was in the prime of my leadership. And was this how it was all going to end? Maybe.
I guess what I wanted to know was “Does God really love me?”
Because if I couldn’t be sure that the answer was “yes,” what was the point of all this? I needed to know that I mattered beyond what I could show or produce.
You see, many of us begin our lives knowing in theory that God loves us. But to know that, to feel that, to experience that from the deepest places in our hearts is elusive even for veteran leaders—perhaps especially so.
Not only did I complete that hike, I went on to do even longer hikes on my cancer medication, ten years now and counting.
Welcome to the most significant challenge of your leadership journey. You’re in good company here.
-John
For the Summit Clear Team
The final summit of leadership is a deep acceptance of the love of God.
