I have been asking the Lord to give me His perspective, a new perspective for this season of my life. Empty nest, relocating to the States, finding new community, etc.
It has been excruciatingly hard and painful and full of grief. I haven’t been able to find myself, or God for that matter. I know He is present because that is what I have been taught but I can’t seem to hear His voice or feel any comfort and peace. There has only been fear, uncertainty, anxiety, and grief.
But these last few days I have felt glimpses of God again. The way I used to see, hear, and feel Him in my life.
Today I was sitting on the 4th floor balcony at a hotel in Florida. I was not excited that our room was facing away from the sun. The weather was cloudy—not ideal for someone who is powered by light and always hoping for sunshine! Yes, I could see the ocean but it was only about a third of my view. The second third was a busy road with lots of traffic, and the final third was the parking lot filled with cars, trash, and laundry bins.
I could hear all at once the cars, the construction, the hum of the air conditioner and the waves crashing on the shore.
I found myself complaining about this and longing for the perfect spot for my silence and solitude.
But as I sat there and waited I realized with the help of the Holy Spirit that this is what my life is made up of right now. This space, this view was what God had for me right now. It was the perfect example of life.
One third is noise, thoughts coming and going, people coming and going, each with their own stories and messy lives.
One third is the “construction” of God working on us, the process of sanctification, a work in progress.
And one third is pure beauty. God in nature, His majesty, sovereignty, creativity, bigness.
So what am I going to choose to look at and listen to? What one third of the picture do I concentrate on the most?
I can sit and look at the beauty and see God’s hand with the noise and traffic in the background or I can look out and turn my face towards the ocean and think about what God has made even with the noise of life that seems to crowd out the noise of the crashing waves.
I can focus on the loudness of the traffic and the messes of construction, or I can “Be still and Know that He is God.”
It’s all a matter of perspective and where I choose to turn my face towards.
